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Expecting....yet no expectations.

January 30, 2019

 

So. 

Much. 

Change.

Well, we are pregnant!!! Correction...I am pregnant; my husband is just my prisoner. (Kidding!!) I am 14.5 weeks and  I will be honest in saying that this is the weirdest experience of my life. I am SO THANKFUL, especially because we were trying for over a year (yes, before we were married, but we were willing to take our chances). It was a long process, with a lot of ups and downs, but we made it (again, I made it; my husband has no choice lol). 

I am trying to get everything together from my first trimester for some videos and blogs, but I wanted to touch on some of the lessons I have learned in these first few months. The way I coach and train people, is dealing with a lot more on the inside, which makes its way outwards....I promise. This, by far, has been the strongest mental battle I have faced. 

I am regimented, routine, and always in control....well, even from the "trying to conceive" stage, I kissed that control out the window. I ate and trained differently, was diligent about my yoga, meditation and journaling and still every month.....nothing. This was mind blowing for me. I preach about consistency and hard work, and how your body will respond, and my body was not. I cried, I yelled, I had good days and I had bad days, but in the end I knew it was not up to me; that was between God and whenever our little nugget wanted to show up. Oh, and when it does happen, still no control; none of it. You can do all the right things and still wake up nauseous, have a constant headache and really not like anyone around you (true story). When you're used to having a gym schedule, now it is literally, whenever the baby lets you, and then how long you stay? Yup, you guessed it.....all baby. 

This was all really difficult for me, because I am used to go go go from 4:30 am to 8:30 pm (this is now a struggle to wake up at 4:30 and in bed, asleep at 7 pm....and so I hear, that bed time is about to get earlier.) I have spent quite a few days in tears, because I can't get what I want to finished, and I had to start treating myself like my own clients, specifically my prenatal clients. A pregnant body is doing so much and working so hard to grow, that there is a limited energy reserve. You have to pick and choose your battles. Here is how I deal with it.....

 

1. I make lists; lots of them. I have four different planners (one for my business, one for my workouts, one for my goals and one for my personal development, like reading, classes, etc.). Have 2 "money" to do's at the top of the list; they need to get done, today, no matter what. The next 2 are important but not pressing. The final 2 are by some miracle of God you are charged up like the Energizer Bunny and can get them in. Yes, sometimes, a workout or yoga is one of my "money" to do's.....that is a priority that will make me a better person, a better trainer and coach, a better wife, a better citizen of the planet. 

2. Stay away from the scale all but once every two weeks. JUST LIKE I DO WITH ALL OF MY CLIENTS. The scale can have a whole lot of power if you let it. I keep my waist measurements and weight every two weeks, just to make sure I am on the right track and I like to track my progress. 

3. Have a "fuck it" jar. Seriously, get a jar or a box or something. Every time I would get pissed off that something isn't going my way, I stop and ask myself if I can help it at all. 9 times out of 10, I can't....yup, out of my control; so off to the "fuck it" jar it goes. Every now and again, I either take it out to the big trash can outside or empty it in the fire pit. Hey, it works for me. 

4. Stop expecting. Yup, funny that this is the title of the blog, but just stop. Even though you are doing everything the “right way”, it’s just not going to happen the way you want. Sometimes, you might get surprised, but just put the expectations to the back burner. Kicker with this one? Still do the right fucking thing. You will feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that you gave it your all.

5. Enjoy it. Seriously, enjoy every moment. There will be a time you will look back and smile. You aren’t going to remember the frustrations that your pants didn’t fit or that you didn’t make it to the gym on Wednesday…..but you will look back and know that you gave it your all and showed your baby love from the first second and ever day, more and more.

 

Funny….these five pointers aren’t only for the preggos; its for all of us. We are all doing the best we can with what we know, right now. Work hard, even if your hardest sucks today. Eat the best you can, even if its not perfect, its better than it could have been. Put together all of the building blocks and pretty soon you will have an unshakable foundation….a hiccup here and there will go unnoticed and that stress will slowly dissipate. Whatever your goals are, have fun and enjoy them. This is the only today we have….make it one that puts you closer to your best, which by the way, just keeps getting better.

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